So this is sorta my first entry. I mean, i sorta did an entry or two but those dont really count.  Yesterday, was okay. I mean, the visitation sucked because all we did was cry. And i am not the type of person to cry. I seemed to let go of that once Destan left. I cried over and over thinking just solely on him. When i knew in fact and in moment, he would never come back. That is was His time to leave. If you think about it, everyone is suppose to cry at least once in their life really hard where all you do all night is cry, right? Well i have already done that. When i think about all this crap going no in my life right now, i feel unwanted. He always use to say "Go back out there and show them that Kaylie Trevers doesnt give up." And now, i give up easily. I let guys get the best of me. If Destan were still here, we would be married by now.. Thats how much he meant to me and still does. That is the same exact reason for jake. He was there for me when Destan left. He knew how i felt. We had so many precious memories. But now they are all gone. All gone because people just are to depressed now. How has this world become? Why has this happened. I just want to scream out and ask that but i doubt anyone will listen.